Wednesday Wondering - May 15, 2024

Scripture

Song of Solomon 8: 6 - 7

6 Set me as a seal upon your heart,    as a seal upon your arm,for love is strong as death,    passion fierce as the grave.Its flashes are flashes of fire,    a raging flame.

7 Many waters cannot quench love,    neither can floods drown it.If one offered for love    all the wealth of one’s house,    it would be utterly scorned.

1John 4: 16

16 So we have known and believe the love that God has for us.

God is love, and those who abide in love abide in God, and God abides in them.

Reflection

I have been wondering a lot lately about love and how what does it mean to love in today’s world. I wonder if many times when we think of love, we think of the romantic type of love that is found in those Hallmark movies that I love so much. Or oftentimes we transfer this idea of love to things that we, in all honesty, we don’t really ‘love.’ I always would say that I “love” roast beef and Yorkshire pudding, but the reality is that I just enjoy eating it. We love sports, we love food, we love activities, we love a lot of things in our lives, but how do we actually understand love in this world and what does it mean to love. The scriptures I picked speak to a love that is deeper than that which we have been speaking of so far. It speaks to a love that is sealed upon one’s heart. It speaks to a love that burns and rages, again I don’t think that this is a romantic type of love, but rather a love that goes beyond the superficial, it is a love that impacts our entire being. It is also a love that is reflective of the love that God has for us. This is a love that crosses boundaries, it is a love that is expansive and broad, not narrow and selective. The love that God has for us speaks to a sense of inherent worthiness to be loved. This is a love that, as we might have heard before, will not let us go.

We often simplify love to the physical attraction between people, but love is much more than that because if we understand love to be a reflection of God’s love for us, then it has to be larger. Author A. R. Lucas has said, “We’ve been infected with this idea that love is an emotion only felt between two people. But love is universal. An energy. A contagious force. A gift. To offer money to a homeless man is to love. To save a worm from the sun is to love. To smile at a stranger is to love. To be grateful, to be hopeful, to be brave, to be forgiving, to be proud is to love.” Love is so much more than just the affection that we have for another person. This is why when we read the passage from 1Corinthians 13, that love, “bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things,” it begins to make sense that love has to be a force that is greater than what we believe.

Yet, the reality is that we live in a world where love has devolved to those nice feelings we have for others. We also live in a world where it can be increasingly difficult to love. It is a harsh world and a world that is filled with so much anxiety, anger, hatred, and violence. I wonder how is one supposed to love in a world such as ours. My mother has always said that love is not just something that happens, it is a decision that we make each and every day. She says that it is important for us to begin each day making the decision to love that day. Some might say that this is wishful thinking, given the state of our world, but I believe that there is actually some wisdom in what she believes. It can be so easy in today’s world to become cynical, to become hard-hearted at the state of the world. Author and chaplain Laura Jean Truman, offers this, “Keep my anger from becoming meanness. Keep my sorrow from collapsing into self-pity. Keep my heart soft enough to keep breaking. Keep my anger turned towards justice, not cruelty. Remind me that all of this, every bit of it, is for love. Keep me fiercely kind.” Yes, this world is difficult and a harsh place to live, we all recognize that, but it is okay for us to be sad, to be angry, to be confused, but in the midst of all of that if we make the decision to keep loving, we make the decision that keeps our hearts soft. Yes, when we do this we risk our hearts breaking, but I wonder if that is not better than the alternative. The alternative, which is to have our hearts harden such that we don’t feel anymore.

To love is to choose the path that might be difficult but it is the path that brings us closer to God. It is the path that brings us closer to each other, closer to creation, closer to ourselves. In loving, we see that all are are worthy of love, including ourselves, and that might just be the greatest challenge of all. But it is something that I believe is worth it. So in a world where love might be scarce, let us love, because God loves us.

Prayer

God of infinite love, help us to love as you love. Give us the courage to know that in loving we risk our heart breaking, but we also know that if we don’t love we may become hard and cynical. Give us the wisdom to know that the love you offer, the love you call us to give, is much  more than the love the world understands. Help us to offer a love that is expansive, a love that is deep, and true. A love that reflects that love that you have for us. We ask this in the name of one who came to show us the way, your son, Jesus. Amen.

Wednesday Wondering - May 8, 2024

Scripture

Psalm 23

1    The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not want.

2    He makes me lie down in green pastures;

    he leads me beside still waters;

3    he restores my soul.

    He leads me in right paths

    for his name’s sake.

4    Even though I walk through the darkest valley,

    I fear no evil;

    for you are with me;

    your rod and your staff—

    they comfort me.

5    You prepare a table before me

    in the presence of my enemies;

    you anoint my head with oil;

    my cup overflows.

6    Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me

    all the days of my life,

    and I shall dwell in the house of the LORD

    my whole life long.

Reflection

I was having a conversation with a very dear friend of mine, as it was her birthday, and very early that same morning her mother had passed. Now the passing of her mother was not unexpected, but on that day it was a surprise. I have been wondering about who we are and how we experience grief. We grieve for many reasons, for the loss of a loved one, like my friend. We grieve the loss of relationships and friendships that might have ended. We grieve the loss of our dreams and hopes as life sometimes, oftentimes, doesn’t go as planned. In the midst of all of these experiences we grieve. I read somewhere that oftentimes grief is just love that can no longer be shared and in so many ways I agree with that idea. Many of us have experienced grief in our lives and I wonder how we continue to move forward, is it simply a matter of faith, and if so, why?

Many of us may be very familiar with the above Psalm but we generally think of it in terms of a memorial service. Yet this Psalm speaks deeply to us not just about grief in the face of loss, but also it speaks to us today in the face of other types of grief and challenges that we must face today. In many ways, it speaks to our hope that in the midst of all that is happening. This reading gives us the reassurance that  we are not alone. It speaks to the love and care that God has for us always. I wanted to share with you a reflection that was written by a colleague on this Psalm. The reflection speaks to the confusion and challenge that we face in our lives today, including all of the different ways in which we grieve, and how difficult it can be to remember that we are not alone. The following reflection was written by Kirsten Marie;

The Lord is my shepherd;

     I shall not be in want?

     But I want…

     housing, employment, income, family, love, answers, patience, acceptance, hope, belonging...

     I have more than many…

     I shall not be in want.

     He makes me lie down…

     I'm fine as I am

     I must keep busy

     There's so much to get done

     He makes me lie down

     He can't catch me

     He makes me lie down…

     my head is dizzy

     He makes me lie down in green pastures

     and leads me beside still waters.

     He revives my soul

     Even if...

     My soul is spinning?

     I've fallen away?

     I've turned away?

     Even if I'm distanced from my shepherd?

     He revives my soul and guides me along right pathways for his Name's sake.

     Right paths...

     like safe paths? Comfortable paths?

     Though I walk through the valley

     Of the shadow of

     Loneliness and isolation,

     Violence and racism

     Goals on hold and lost dreams

     illness and countless lives lost

     Of lost hope…

     Even though I walk through the valley

     Of death,

     I shall fear no evil;

     For you are with me;

     Your rod and your staff, they comfort me?

     My routine and my books

     Meetings and busyness

     Comfy clothes and hot tea

     They comfort me…

     Your rod and your staff??

     Maybe?

     You spread a table before me in the presence of my fears and doubts

     My skeptical ways

     My grief...

     my enemies?

     you have anointed my head with...

     Purell?

     Oil,

     and my cup...

     My cup is running over.

     If only I can find it…

     Surely your goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life.

     Follow even me???

     all the days of my life?

     maybe...

     Hopefully…

     and I will dwell

     In MY house forever?

     In the house of the Lord forever…

     Goodness and mercy?

     Even though?

     Even now?

     Even when?

     Even if?

     Here it is... the spinning...

     He makes me lie down...

     And stills my heart.

In the midst of all of the challenges that our lives bring. God can still our racing hearts. God can calm our fears. God is with us. We are never alone. I think that this week, I have been needing to consider this myself. I have wondered where, in the midst of all of the challenges we have faced, I might find some peace, yet, as I read it I come to see that sometimes it is has always been with us. Sometimes for us to find peace it is for us to calm our minds and remember that we are not alone, that God walks through those valley times with us.

Prayer

God of infinite presence, help us to feel your presence with us at every twist and turn of life. Help us to find that calm centre in the midst of this crazy world, so that we might find you. Give us the courage to face today, tomorrow, and every day with the understanding that you will be with us. Let us also understand that you call us to be your presence in the world for others and let us live into this as we are a living, loving, presence of God for others. We ask this in the name of God Incarnate, God with us, your son Jesus. Amen.

Wednesday Wondering - May 1, 2024

Scripture

Psalm 13: 1

How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever?How long will you hide your face from me?

Matthew 6: 5 - 8

“And when you pray, you must not be like the hypocrites. For they love to stand and pray in the synagogues and at the street corners, that they may be seen by others. Truly, I say to you, they have received their reward. But when you pray, go into your room and shut the door and pray to your Father who is in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will reward you.

“And when you pray, do not heap up empty phrases as the Gentiles do, for they think that they will be heard for their many words. Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him.”

Romans 8: 26

Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with sighs too deep for words.

Reflection

I have been thinking, and wondering, a lot lately about this idea of prayer. What does it mean for us to pray? What should we be praying for? Does prayer make a difference? Well I think that there are many people I know who would say that prayer can make all the difference in the world, and I agree with that in so many ways. To lift up someone, or something to God in prayer is powerful and I believe that it not only affects those who are being lifted up in prayer, but it also affects those who are doing the praying.

Now if I am completely honest with all of you, my usual way to offer prayer is to raise my eyes and arms to the sky and simply exclaim “Really!” I can joke about this but the reality is that sometimes that is all that I can do. It gives me great comfort, when I do this, to remember the passage from Romans, that assures me that when I don’t know how to pray the Sprit will intercede with sighs too deep for words. If I am honest again, there are so many times in my life when I don’t have the words to pray, and so I enter into that divine silence and know that God knows what is weighing heavy on my heart. Yet, I also know that there is so much happening in the world right now that needs our prayers.

In seeing the mess that this world seems to be in, with the violence, the anger, the war, the poverty, the homelessness, it makes me wonder where do we even start? It can be overwhelming, given the state of the world, to even know where to begin with our prayers. I would like to offer today a quote from the late Mother Teresa, who said, “I used to pray that God would feed the hungry, or do this or that, but  now I pray that God will guide me to do whatever I’m supposed to do, what I can do. I used to pray for answers, but now I’m praying for strength. I used to believe that prayer changes things, but now I know that prayer changes us and we change things.” It frustrates me at times when violence happens in the world and people default to offering their thoughts and prayers. I am not frustrated by the prayers because, as I said, lifting someone else up in prayer is powerful and can be healing. The frustration comes from the fact that so many will offer prayers, in the face of violence and tragedy, but they will not allow themselves to be changed by those prayers and spurred to action so that they might be agents of change in our world.

I wonder what would happen if all of those people, who offer only their thoughts and prayers, allowed themselves to be changed by their prayer. What might our world look like if our prayers not only lifted up those we pray for, those situations that we pray for, but also changed us so that we might be the ones who changed the world. I believe that prayer not only has the power to heal our lives, and the lives of those we hold in our prayers, but it also have to power to change the world, through us. It might seem like a daunting task, but I believe that when we call out to God, in prayer, we are strengthened in God’s love to continue forward. The challenge I think for us, is that we often wait for God to make a change. The Psalmist, in the scripture I offered today, asks why God has hidden God’s face, why they have been forgotten. I often wonder about this when people say that their prayers were not answered. I quite often wonder if maybe their prayer was answered but in a way that they were not expecting and they didn’t see it. Or I wonder if maybe their prayer was answered in God strengthening them so that they would be the answer to the prayer themselves. To pray, I believe, is to open ourselves up to the mysterious movement of God in our lives. I don’t believe that prayer is a ‘to do’ list for God but rather it is our opening ourselves, lifting up those whom we pray for, those situations we pray for, and then to experience the movement of the Spirit in our lives moving us to where God wants us to be. Prayer is as much about us as it is about God. So we continue to pray and I hope that we continue to grow and change as we do. Amen.

Prayer

God of infinite mercy, we ask that you hear our prayers, those when we have the words, and those when the words aren’t there. We ask for the wisdom to discern where you are calling us in the midst of our prayers, where we can be agents of change in a world that can be so broken. We ask for you guidance, your mercy, and your patience when we don’t recognize your call. As we pray may your Spirit enliven us, and comfort us, as well as all those whom we lift up to you. We ask this in the name of the one who taught us to pray, your son, Jesus. Amen.