Wednesday Wondering - July 24, 2024

Scripture

Psalm 94:19

When my anxious thoughts multiply within me, Your comforts delight me.

Matthew 8: 28 - 29

Come to Me, all who are weary and heavily burdened, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.

Reflection

The reading from Matthew was written to those who were feeling overwhelmed and burdened by the rituals required by the temple authorities. Jesus was offering them something that the temple wasn’t, Jesus was offering them peace and God’s love. Using a metaphor that the people would be familiar with, the metaphor of a yoke, Jesus was offering them rest when they were weary and I wonder if he was also offering them the chance to not always be so strong. You see those hearing Jesus’ words would know that a yoke was a way for the ox to share the load, it was also customary to place an experienced animal with a younger, inexperienced animal, and in that way it can slowly, and with less stress, learn how to do what it needed to do. Jesus was offering to the people a way to lighten their burdens, while learning to continue to move forward. Jesus was offering this strength so that those who were burdened did not have to be always be so strong. What does it mean for us to be strong in our world today? I believe that there are those who believe that they always have to be strong, to not be strong will reflect negatively on who they are and how they are living their lives. I wonder about our need to always be strong.

This is a challenging week for me. On July 24, 2013, a Wednesday, I was finishing my last week of my first year at the Atlantic School of Theology. While I was away at school my father was battling terminal cancer. That Wednesday evening I received a phone call from one of my brothers, who called to let me know that my father had taken a turn and the end was near. It was suggested that I do what I could to come home as soon as possible. I switched my flights from Saturday, July 27 to the Thursday, July 25, 2013. Being that it was a Wednesday evening the students had all gathered in the residence’s main floor lounge for Wine Wednesday. It was a time of community, laughter, and wine. I came downstairs to the lounge to let my fellow students know that I was going home early. One of my colleagues came to me, gave a big hug, and said to me, “it is time for you to go home, you have been strong for long enough, now is the time to let go and feel what you need to feel.” To be honest I know that the spectre of death had been over me for that entire time at school. My father had told me to go to school with us both knowing that there was a good possibility that he would pass before I returned. Knowing all of this I didn’t realize that I was being strong while I was away. I couldn’t see myself being strong, but others could see it. I didn’t realize that in being strong I really wasn’t living, it was taking all of my energy to be strong.

I wonder how often in our lives we don’t realize that we have spent too long trying to be strong, strong for ourselves, strong for others around us, just thinking that we must always be strong. I wonder how often when being strong we forget to breathe, we forget to truly live, we allow the stresses of the world to build up in our hearts, our minds, our souls? We have all had to be strong in our lives at different times. We have all gone through times of struggle and strife and if we were not strong, we feel that we might not have made it through those times. But do we have to be so strong all the time? Jesus is offering to us the opportunity to not always be strong. Jesus is saying that it is okay for us to be overwhelmed, for us to be confused, for us to tired. I remember reading a comment on social media that said something along the lines of this, “What doesn’t defeat you makes you stronger, I don’t want to be stronger, I want to be able to cry, to lament, to not always have to be strong.” Jesus is offering to opportunity to not always be so strong. Jesus is offering to us the support and love of God, who is always with us.

I think that when we believe we have to be strong all the time we forget that it is okay to ask for help. We forget that we have a whole community who is there, journeying with us, encouraging us, challenging us, and carrying us when we just can’t be strong anymore. I know that when I was told that I had been strong long enough, it almost felt like I was given permission to not be strong, to not be okay, and in that I was able to begin to grieve my loss. To not be strong, to ask for help, to not have it all together all the time, that is part of being human. So you have been strong long enough, now let each of us be strength for each other.

Prayer

God, of Wisdom and Strength, we ask for the courage to not be strong this day. We ask for the courage to reach out to those around us, those who love us, those who journey with us, and ask for help and strength from them. Help us to be there for those in our lives who are struggling, as we ask them to be there for us. Help us to also see that you are with us, offering that yoke that is light, helping us through the times of struggle and strife in our life. We ask this in the name of one who came to be your light in the world, your son, Jesus. Amen.

Wednesday Wondering - July 17, 2024

Scripture

1Corinthian 13: 8 - 13

Love never ends. But as for prophecies, they will come to an end; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will come to an end. For we know only in part, and we prophesy only in part; but when the complete comes, the partial will come to an end. When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child; when I became an adult, I put an end to childish ways. For now we see in a mirror, dimly, but then we will see face to face. Now I know only in part; then I will know fully, even as I have been fully known. And now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; and the greatest of these is love.

Reflection

Many of you might recognize the scripture for today, it is often used at weddings, as it speaks to all of the wonderful attributes of love. It speaks to the fact that love is patient, kind, not envious, and not boastful. I chose if for another reason and that is the idea of our seeing dimly in a mirror. Previously when I have read this scripture I have wondered about this part, what might this mean to us in our lives today. I believe that it speaks to a reality the many of us live within, the reality of understanding that we are always on a journey of self-discovery.

I want to share with you a quote I found, from an anonymous source; “Being on a spiritual path is not about swallowing your feeling and walking the Earth smiling and saying “love and light’ to people you meet. It’s not about carefully constructing a setting for your social media, where you perform a yoga pose with meditation music in the background. Being on a spiritual path means getting to know all of the parts of yourself, light and dark, so you can heal what hurts. It means working on ego and learned behaviours. It’s a deep dive into your soul. It’s being raw and vulnerable, and speaking your truth. It’s having respect not only for yourself, but for every living being. You may feel uncomfortable at times, but you’re supposed to, you are undoing years of programming and healing every part of your soul. That’s brave. You many feel lonely, you have woken up whilst everyone around you is still asleep. That’s okay, let them sleep, you keep going, keep walking your path and shine on like the divine being you are.”

I have often wondered about this idea of being on a spiritual journey. I used to say that I was on a spiritual journey, but in all honesty I didn’t really know what that truly meant. I see that, for me, being on a spiritual journey is to know that I am seeing myself dimly in that mirror. It is to understand that the me that I present to the world is a me that is layered with years of conditioning, expectations, challenges, and sometimes grief. It is a me that, in many ways, hides the real person underneath. It is a protection against the hurts of this world, but it also hinders me from fully becoming the person that I was create to be. To truly look at oneself, with all of the good, and the not so good. To look at the walls we have built around ourselves and to see why they exist. To open ourselves up to honestly look at ourselves, that is a spiritual journey. It is a journey of the soul. It is a journey where we learn to become all that we were created to be. It is a journey of fear, it is a journey of uncertainty, it is a journey where one must be brave enough to honestly look at oneself. It is a journey of healing.

Often times when we look in that mirror dimly we see a reflection of who the world wants us to be. When we embark on a true spiritual journey, we come to look in the mirror and we begin to see who God sees us to be, who God made us to be. It can be a journey from darkness to light, from hurt to healing. Many years ago I had an experience that shook the very foundations of what I believed. I wrote an article on the experience which was called, “Dark Journey of the Soul.” What I had seen, experienced, one dark October night began with my judgement of another. As I wrestled with this experience I can to understand that the one that I was judging, based on my own perceptions of myself, my own upbringing, my sense of worthlessness, was myself. This experience led me down a path of self-exploration where I was forced to look at myself and then look at who I was told I had to be. In the midst of that darkness I found the light of God’s love for me, as I am, as I was created to be.

To know only in part, but then to be known in full. To see ourselves dimly in that mirror, yet to know that God sees us as we were created to be. To know that our journey may take us through times of darkness, times of struggle, but to know that the greatest of these, Love, is with us always. These spiritual journeys that we take can change us, should change us, should challenge us to be who God created us to be, not who the world says we must be. I wonder, what is your journey and who do you see dimly in that mirror?

Prayer

God, of Infinite Love, we ask that you guide us on all of our journey. We ask that your presence be near and that you show us who you creates us to be. We ask for the courage to look honestly at ourselves, to see the good, and the not so good. We ask for the courage to become the people you call us, know us, to be. Help us to see ourselves as you see us, filled with the Divine Light of your love. We ask this in the name of Love Incarnate, your son, Jesus. Amen.

Wednesday Wondering - July 10, 2024

Scripture

Matthew 18: 18 – 20

18Truly I tell you, whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven. 19Again, truly I tell you, if two of you agree on earth about anything you ask, it will be done for you by my Father in heaven. 20For where two or three are gathered in my name, I am there among them.”

Reflection

So we received a message, the other day, from someone asking to borrow an item from us. Now, we know that we have this item, but do you think that we can remember where we put it after we used it the last time. Nope! We have no idea where it might be, but we know it has to be somewhere. I wonder how many of us have had this same experience. We know that that we have something but we just don’t know where it is so we embark on a search to find said item.

I have been wondering a lot lately about the idea of searching. I think that there are many, today, who seem to be searching for something in their lives, whether it be meaning, companionship, relationship, or something equally as important. And we as Christians are also searching, we are searching for meaning in our lives, as well. Many of us might be asking ourselves what does our faith mean? Some may be wondering if their faith is purely personal, or is it larger than just our personal experience, or journey. What does it mean to live as a Christian in the world today? What do we search for in our lives as Christians? I have often wondered if we are searching for community, togetherness, people who believe the same things that we believe, so that we share a common understanding of faith and the world. Maybe, we are searching for something deeper, some deeper meaning, or an encounter with the divine. It could be said that we might just be searching for the presence of God in our lives, sometimes we are searching for answers to questions that tug at our hearts, questions that don’t seem to have any answers, or where we can’t seem to find the answers anywhere else.

I have been thinking about where we go searching for God in our lives. I believe that there are many who come and hope to find God within the walls of the church. And yes I do think that God is present in the ‘church,’ but I also believe that there is more to this presence of God than just the church. I think that there are those who would say that they would journey up to mountaintop places because in that way they would be closer to God and they we would be able to find God in those places.  Others might say that they go to the forest and trees to find connection to God amid nature in those places. Yet others might say that sitting beside water, whether it be the ocean, a lake, a river, or a stream is where they find God, within the movement, or stillness, of the water.

Is God to be found in the quiet of sacred places like a sanctuary of a church, or a mountaintop? Is God to be found in nature, with the trees and the water? English Theologian and poet John Henry Newman stated, “I sought to hear the voice of God and climbed to the topmost steeple, and God declared: “Go down again – I dwell among the people.” This in many ways echoes the passage from Matthew, because God is not found in a building but rather God is found in a community of people. The presence of God is found in the midst of those who journey with us and it is in these communities we find meaning, we find relationship, companionship, and we find wisdom.  

But I think that God is not only found in those who are part of our community, but rather those who are a part of our larger world. We are challenged, called, to look for God in the people around us, not just the people who are like us, the people that we know, but those who might seem very different than we are and who we might dismiss as never even having the possibility of being the presence of God. I believe that God comes to us through many people in our lives but we need to be open to finding God in our world. This means that God might be found in nature and the natural world, but God is also found in the what might seem like the most unlikely places, and to be honest God is not found only in the safety and comfort of our church buildings and our church communities. God is found in the challenging places of the world. “Where two or three are gathered in my name,” as people who follow God we are called to find God in all places, in all people, and to follow where God is leading each of us in the world.

Prayer

God of all places, you know that we are searching, searching for meaning, searching for relationship, searching for you. Help us to open our hearts and our minds so that we might find your presence in those around us. Help us to remember that we might find that which we search for, that which we long for, you, in those around us.  We ask this in the name of one who came to be with us, your son Jesus. Amen.